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(continued)
My day in court finally came. I had lost much momentum and hadn't made
any progress since I was cited, which was very frustrating to say the
least.
"All rise!" the bailiff cried, "Presenting his Honor, Judge Language
Barrier!"
Hmmm.. I wondered if Judge Language and Economic were brothers.
Continued the bailiff, "First case, David Ho vs. Anime Fandom."
What?! Me?! On trial against anime fandom?! But I am an anime
fan! How could they do this to me?!
Spoke the Judge, "You stand accused of illegally transporting anime
without the proper license. How do you plead?"
Respectfully replied I, "Your Honor, I don't really understand the
nature of my offense so I don't know how I should plead."
This seemed to annoy Judge Barrier.
Asked the Judge, "Don't you know that its illegal to create, translate
or otherwise transport anime into the US without a Language license?"
Replied I, "Well, the officer, whose name I can't remember right now but
must say that I recall being very impressed with his attention to
personal hygiene, who cited me did inform me of this requirement, but he
never really explained to me why I needed a license. He just went on
writing me up as if the reason for needing one was obvious and that any
idiot who didn't know deserved a citation."
This explanation seemed to interest the Judge and he began flipping
through my file.
Said the Judge, "Hmmm.. let me see here.. Ah yes, just as I suspected. You
were cited by Officer Hardcore Fan. He does have a reputation of being
somewhat hardheaded and unreasonable."
Suddenly, a light went on in my head...
Continued the Judge, "I'm sorry for the confusion young man. Let me
explain. You see, whenever you want to bring anime into the US, you
have to know what you're doing. And part of knowing what you're doing
means understanding Japanese because you can't possibly understand anime
without understanding the language from where anime comes from."
Begged I, "But I only know a little Japanese! I'll never be able to
learn it all!"
Consoled the Judge, "Let me finish. I didn't say you have to be
literate in Japanese, rather, you need to have sensitivity and a
deep respect for the language. That's why the license is a
Language license and not a Japanese license. Now do you
understand?"
Replied I, "Yes, it makes more sense now, but I do have respect for the
Japanese language. I just don't have a license!"
Explained the Judge, "The Language license requirement came about
because early importers of anime were liberally translating anime into
English. Thoughtless, reckless and disrespectful translation of anime
into another language is a crime against all fans everywhere in
the world."
The Judge's words rang heavy in my mind.
Continued the Judge, "Since it appears to me that you truly are ignorant
of this requirement and not willfully negligent, I will recommend that
you go to Language school. Upon successful completion of Language
school, you'll be granted a license and the citation will be removed
from your permanent record. How's that?"
Gratefully replied I, "Thank you very much, your Honor!"
* * *
So I went to Language School that Saturday. Much of it was review for
me so I can't say I learned anything new. They went over basic stuff
like the differences in "-san", "-chan", "-sama", etc. We formed groups
and debated the "sub vs. dub" issue for an hour without coming to any
real conclusion. But what I'll remember most vividly are the videos
they made us watch. Oh, they were terrible! The horror of it all! We
watched video after video of perfectly good anime being destroyed
by reckless translation. The carnage was so senseless! I particularly
remember the GIANT ROBO OVA #1,
which I loved in its original
Japanese, being snuffed out at the prime of its life by a terrible dub!
It was so sad! It used to be so full of life and
energy, and after the dub, it was dead! I still shudder
at the thought of those videos.
* * *
After getting my Language license, I was on my way again and I again
felt that nothing could stop me. I could even see the glass mountain
getting bigger and bigger as I got closer and closer. It was
exhilarating to see that I was quickly approaching my destination.
...to be concluded
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